Mission 24689: Rehab
by Anti-Form Sora
Summary: The third and final chapter is here, and we have worked it up! We have sex, pregnancy, and all the fun and games you can imagion! Join the drug frenzy now, and we'll give you a 100 discount!
1. Mission 24689: REHAB

MISSION 24689: REHAB

**AFS:** Hi all yas!

**Emily: **Have we got a show for you!

**007: **This is bad. FL _and_ Emily working together. Hell attack.

**AFS:** Shut up you.

**007:** Yes ma'am. (Whimpers and walks away.)

**Emily:** In this story I'm 0015...

**AFS:** And I'm 0014!

**Emily: **This is what happens when we convince the whole zero-zero team to do something!

**AFS:** We'll keep you updated with who wrote what, so enjoy!

**002 (still drunk): **F&#!

(EM)

The story begins the morning after New Years Eve. (AFS) 0014 and 0015 had convinced everyone to stay up 'til midnight but when twelve midnight and five seconds (12:00:05) on January first, 2005 came, they made it into a competition to see who could stay up the longest without sugar or coffee. 0014 won, of course, since she always did that kind of stuff.

"Oh, man," 0015 said (EM) in the grasp of a nasty hangover. (AFS) " I think I had too much rum and crumb cakes last night." (EM) At that moment, 002 threw up in a KFC bucket that held popcorn chicken that was next to the couch that he had just got laid on with his girlfriend, 0014. (**AFS:** NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! **Emily:** YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

(AFS) Jumping into the space on the couch next to 0015, 0014 started talking like she just chugged a bottle of grape soda while sniffing cream soda (**Em:** Which means, in her case, high)

(AFS) "Woah, slow down you bitch!" 0015 wasn't paying attention to what her friend was wearing. She had her clothes on, but she had another shirt over her jeans and a pair of old sweat pants that was cut over her head.(EM) In the corner of the room, 008 was hanging upside down smoking weed.

"Hey guys, I feel Jamaican now, " said the African, and then began laughing uncontrollably.

"Hey 0014, baby, you got any more rum?" asked 002. (**AFS:** EW.)

"You just got done throwing up! " exclaimed the blonde cyborg, adjusting her bra.

"Are you calling me a liar!" he addressed to his girlfriend in slurred speech, but was pointing at the ceiling fan.

"I think you'd want to lie down–"

"–You're the f:)ing liar, God damn it!" he screamed, throwing a vase into the wall, and then threw up some more.

"Would you two keep it down? I'm trying to get some more of this pretty white powder up my nose!" hollered 007, straw at hand and his nose bleeding.

"We've got to do something about this! We've got to find a way for these drugheads to quit engaging in such destructive behavior! " said 0015, slamming down her bong.

"How did you come out of that hangover? " questioned 0014 as she finished her Bay Breeze.

"I was in hang over mode, I didn't actually drink." explained the Puerto-Rican cyborg.

(0014) "What's the plan?" 0014 questioned.

"Uh... I... don't have a clue. " replied the golden brown-haired girl. "Any ideas?"

"Yeah, one." answered her friend with an evil look in her ice blue eyes.

"Why did I ask?" 0015 put her head into her palms.

"We need a boombox, a Sesame Street CD, a really long extension cord, and someone to keep it untangled."

(EM and AFS combo)

"Or we can do rehab." suggested the frustrated 0015.

"Or, we could do that, although my idea is far more logical," claimed 0014 illogically, coping off of 0015. "We could play Sunny Day whenever they do something they're not supposed to. I heard that no one can resist a bunch of kids singing in unison..."

"Kelly," 0015 interrupted. "Shut up." And with that, they went to the health clinic.

**INTERMISSION:** ((**A/N: **This is a random person. If this is you, screw you!))

**RANDOM PERSON:** On the way, 0014 continued to be annoying. This is a document report from who witnessed this catastrophe and will be mentally scarred for the rest of his or her life.

(0014 still in strange cloths singing as a tone-deft person)

Ninety-nine bottles of... uh...crack on the wall, ninety- nine bottles of crack! Take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of crack on the wall! (Fast-forwarding threw and it's dark and she is somewhere on route I-95 when play is pushed.) Twenty bottles of crack! Take one down, pass it around, what comes after twenty? Hay, ass-holes! What comes after twenty? Twenty! I need help counting down over here! Anyone! (To something/someone on ground) Do you know what comes after twenty? (No answer)(rases voice) I know you can hear me! (Begins to stutter) Wait, you're not a person, you're a... a... (yells at top of lungs) A SPIDER! (Runs away screaming)

**RANDOM PERSON:** That is all. Thank you. (0014 runs into the screwed person over small spider)

END INTERMISSION

(Now everyone is at rehab place thingy)

(Person teacher thingy) "Hello class, we all know we each have major problems–"

(random crack-attic from crowd) F#ck!

"Right, like George. He can't help that he shouts profanity at unwanted, unnecessary, and unexpected times; he has turret syndrome."

Suddenly going into a drunk state, 002 screamed, "ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR, WHATEVER MY GIRLFRIEND'S NAME IS!" He pointed at Doctor Gilmore, intending to point at 0014. He gets so smart at the people that he gets kicked out and attempted to walk home. 0015 and 0014 picked him up. Rest of team still at rehab.

(Back at house)

"Now can we please try my idea?" asked the non-bleached (FL: for all of those who know me and wonder if my hair is bleached) blonde girl.

"Fine, fine," 0015 gave in, waving her arms above her head. They get the items marked with and sneaks up behind the orange-haired American male. He cursed for some alcohol. They played the Sesame Street theme song.

"Sun-ny days! Sweeping up clouds– all – day!" 002 automatically shut up, thinking there were kids around. As he did, 0015 pushed pause and brought it back to the beginning.

(AFS)

"What the fuck was–" The song started again and 002 shut up for a second time. As quietly as he could as he was drunk, Jet peered over the couch. He watched as the two girls giggled silently.

Still slow as a drunk, the American said, "Bitch, why can't I find those damned kids?" and, just as slow as he was, the other Americans pushed play and the song started up again.

"Now I got you, who ever you... are," Obviously, 002 had no clue what was going on. The two teens turned up the volume, but 002 still didn't shut up.

"TURN DOWN THAT F#CKIN' MUSIC! I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU!" the second cyborg shouted, trying to make himself heard over the ear-splitting music.

"HE'S NOT QUIET! HE WON'T QUIET!" exclaimed the fourteenth cyborg.

"TURN IT UP MORE!" replied the fifteenth cyborg, covering her ears.

"TURN IT OFF! I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINKING NO MORE!" 002 had no way of talking anymore.

The music was cut off instantly. Looking around stupidly, they saw 0015's brother, 0023, holding the plug.

(EM)

"SHUT THE F#CK UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP, GODDAMNIT!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, throwing the cord at the group and hitting 002 square in the forehead with the metal part, which knocked him out. "AND THAT SONG SUCKS, TOO!" He left the room.

"Did I miss anything, bitches?" asked 002, coming around as if he was pretending to be unconscious. "What? Why are you staring at me like that?" He said this because 0014 and 0015 were 'daydreaming' in his direction at the same time, which is rare.

The other Zero-Zero team members came in.

"This day, January first, in the year of our Lord 2005, we embark into the world as a new zero-zero team! We no longer snuff, snort, inject, consume, smoke and drink no more!" said 007, being his usual (unhigh, undrunk, and unstoned) self.

"But what am I going to do with all of this coke and tequila?" 002 exclaimed sadly, holding the pile of drugs in his arms.

007 shrugged his arms as he watched his teammates engorging their systems with drugs. "Oh well," he joined the frenzy. No one noticed that by the time the alcohol was halfway done, 004 and 007 were getting quite...curious (for a lack of better words) with each other.

"Hey you're a pretty lady," said 004, staring lovingly into 007's bloodshot eyes. Their mouths joined as they enjoyed the passion of their first kiss. (**AFS (getting freaked out):** EW! Take it off! Take it off! **Emily:** Hell no!) By the end of the night, everyone's noses were soundly bleeding, and their pants were down.

**Moral:** Drugs are bad, and can confuse you with your real sex preferences.

THE END! GODDAMNIT, TOO!


	2. Mission 246895: Back To REHAB

**Mission 24689.5: Back To REHAB!**

(Continuation of summary)

If you have read the outrageous Cyborg 009 fanfiction, Mission 24689: REHAB, and thought the madness would end, guess again! In this second story (after the out-of-controled drug-induced party), the team decides they should try rehab again, While everyone else faces unbearable withdraws, 004 does too. But, he goes on a rampage, literally foaming at the mouth. If he is not stopped, the world will end as we know it... sort of. In this hilarious story is addictive, but cannot be snuffed, smoked, injected, drunk, or shoved up you ass! READ IT, DAMN IT, TOO!

**Anti-Form Sora:** WWWWWEEEEE'RRRRREEEEE BBBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!

**Emily:** Hell yeah!

**AFS:** Sorry for such a long time to update.

**007:** Oh, no! Why can't you ever leave us alone?

**Emily:** BECAUSE WE CAN, YOU DRUG ADDICT!

**002:** You were doing it, too, you know.

**Emily:** Oh, leave us alone you rum addict.

**009:** Do you two like the word "addict", like, a lot?

**AFS:** RRRRRAAAAANNNNNDDDDDOOOOOMMMMM!

**008:** H... hay, guys, am... am I still Ja... Jamaican, like,... you know...

**007:** (in the bathroom with a picture of 004 and a bottle of vegetable oil) Hay, I think I got a paper cut, now, yall.

**AFS:** (sighs) The insanity never ends...

**Emily:** That's why we decided to make Mission 24689.5: Back To Rehab, remember?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Cyborg 009, Monty Python's The Holy Grail's characters of the Knights Who Say Ni, or the guy that says "It ain't easy being cheesy!" in The Longest Yard, nor do I own The Longest Yard in general.

**Mission 24689.5: Back To REHAB!**

(Emily)

The day after the drug frenzy, everyone wakes up, feeling miserable. 0015 (who you should know is Emily) was coughing terribly. "Okay, that's the last time we have a chugging contest with Captain Morgan's Spanish spiced rum." She crocked.

"You said it," agreed 002, and then vomited in yet another KFC bucket.

"This is depressing." sulked 006 as he snuffed the last of the tequila, intending the cocaine, and then throwing blood up out of his mouth and nose. 002 looked around at his team, and then down at the cigarette in his hand. He took a last puff and threw it down. He stood up.

"Look at us!" The team giggled softly 002 felt a draft around his legs. He looked down, and saw that his pants were still down. Blushing, he pulled them back up. Now that he looked dignified, he continued to speak.

"Suck this, I'm going back to rehab. I don't care if I go alone!" The second cyborg started out of the living room.

"002," He stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "I'm going too." said 004 as he stood and pulled up his pants.

"Me too," said 0014 and 0015 in unison.

"Me too." said 008.

"ME THREEEEEEEE!" sang 007, dramatically sliding out from the bathroom (where we previously left him) on the vegetable oil and into the living room.

"Aw! For God's sake, 007! Put some clothes on!" shouted 002, shielding his eyes.

"Yeah, and are you aware your penis is bleeding?" asked the third cyborg in a disgusted tone.

"Oh!" He looked down at his genitals. "Now I am." 007 blushed. Feeling like screwing with him, Emily put on acceleration mode, Mach 5, and sped off to BJ's. In a split second, she arrived with a big ass (**AFS:** About 6, 7 gallons.)(Emily) bottle of (out of ALL things) alcohol. She opened it up, sinister laughter bubbling inside her chest.

"Here, let me help you, friend!" said the Puerto-Rican gleefully as she splashed the whole bottle on is wound. He took a deep, calm breath. And then:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" 007, 0014, and 0015 were all rolling around on the floor with red faces. The only difference in this situation present was that Kelly and Emily were laughing there asses off. 004 came to his aid.

"Stop laughing at him!" he yelled. The two girls sat up, still laughing.

"Well, _sorry_ for trying to help your _boyfriend_." retorted 0015 sarcastically. 004 growled in frustration.

"Em, that was harsh." Kelly told her friend reasonably.

"Yeah, you're right." she replied. "Sorry 'bout that." she apologized to 007.

"That's alright. Nothing's wrong with practical joking. Actually, I was quite a jokester in my teenage years..."

"That's nice, 007," Jet said, sarcasm running through every word. "Let's chat more about you teenhood _after_ rehab."

* * *

Together, the team applied for rehab. Because of there drug pasts, they were sentenced for five weeks of incarceration and self-management classes. One week had passed, and since then, no one had slept due to terrible withdrawal symptoms.

"H-hay, 008," 004 said to the African, his bloodshot eyes ogling him psychotically.

"What d'you want?" asked 008, completely unaware his left leg was twitching.

"You... ya got any..." 004 trailed off.

"Any what!" the eighth cyborg exclaimed impatiently.

"You know..." 004 made a motion with his hands that looked like he was taking a deep hit of weed.

"Dammit, Albert! God... why does everyone think I'm stashing drugs just because I'm Afro-American!" (Emily: I know he's not American but it still sounds cool.) he shouted standing up. At that moment, packages of hash, coke, and needles fell out from his jean jacket.

"You fucking liar!" 004 shouted with an echo. "You have drugs and you know it! Dind't your mom teach you how to share!" The German cyborg hauled himself on 008, and they commensed in violent brawling.

"Stop it!" shrieked 003. "Stop it! Stop it, please--!" Emily slammed the back of 003's head with a brick.

"Shut up, bitch," she said, and then joined the crowed around the two fighting cyborgs, chanting,

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!..." The sound of the commotion attrackted many gaurds. Once the crowd was cleared and the men were seperated, they (finally) spotted the illegal drugs on the floor.

"We're going to have to confiscate these." said a tall Coucasion officer (**AFS:** For their own use?). But 004 wouldn't let them take the drugs without a fight. He stood up proudly, a small cacky smirk played over his face. He poised himself in an intimidating fighting stance. He grew quite serious.

"I will never let you win," he said, his long scarf flapping in the wind.

"What're you gonna to do about it?" 004smirked, showing his teeth (which gave off an anninous sparkle at the courner). He lunged at the guard with a loud war cry. He dove at the guard's legs, wrapped his body around them, and...started to cry.

"C'mon dude! Gimme the drugs! Please! I'm desperate!" he sobbed loudly, his eyes contacted on the gaurd's wide, shocked eyes. The cyborg's eyes were wide as well. Wide, bloodshot, and menacing.

Suddenly, a strange man in a hooded robe, pale, wrinkled face, and orange-red eyes emerged from nowhere (Star Wars fans, you should know who he is!).

"Don't cry, boy..." he told 004 in an evil voice.

"Wha--who said that? Whoa, am I high again?" the fouth cyborg responded, looking around the room and still clutched koala-style onto the guard's legs.

"...DO NOT BE A FOOL!" roared the Sith Lord. 004 jumped into place.

"Okay! Sorry!" he yelped.

"Now," He raised a single mangled hand. " Feel the anger pulsating through your veins!" 004's face was transformed to rage. His eyes changed to the color of the Sith Lord. Out of his anger (and on behalf of all the drugs he consumed, screwing up his system, thus defecting his ability not to fight like a friggin pussy), he started feebly slapping the man's shins. The cloaked man slapped his forehead out od frustration and walked out of the story.

"C'mon man! I know you wanna give it to me! I REALLY NEED IT! I'LL SUCK YOUR--"

* * *

**AFS:** Emily, don't you think this is getting a little out of hand?

**Emily:** Hell no! Now let's get back to the story!

**AFS:** WAIT! Seriously, this is insaine. You, exposing my sexual attraction toward 002 is fine, and 004 and 007, pairing as a gay couple... I can tolerate (**AFS:** NO I DON'T! 004 IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!). But this... this is totally unnecessary!

**Emily:** _I'm _unnecessary! Now back to the story before I reveal what kind of PJ's you wear to bed!

**AFS:** Oh yeah? Then I'm sure you won't mind me telling everyone about your dream…

**Emily:** Okay! Shut the hell up! Now let me finish _my_ half of the story.

**AFS:** Fine.

**Emily:** Bitch.

**AFS:** Whore!

**Emily:** Slut!

**AFS:** Skank!

**Emily:** Snape lover!

**AFS:** Cocksucker!

**Emily:** Dumbasssaywhat.

**AFS:** Wha! Did you say somethin' in Spanish?

**Emily:** A-hah! Made you say it!

**AFS:** Well I got news for you!_You_ said theforbidden word of the Knights Who Say Ni (Monty Python's The Holy Grail), so you are no longer in the club!

**Emily:** Anyways, back to the story already!

* * *

"Alright, someone's had too much excitement. It's isolation for you, you little wierdo." said another security guard as he detatched 004 and with help strapped him into a straight jacket. They dragged him away, as he kicked and screamed.

"What happened?" murmured 003, coming out of unconsiousness.

"004's in isolation. Him and 008 got in a fight over drugs--" 009 was cut off.

"Drugs, where?" asked 007, searching under pillows and cots. 009 sighed.

"Nowhere, 007." he answered.

"DON'T FUCK WITH MY DRUG CRAVINGS! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!" screamed 007, salivating heavily.

"Who?" asked 005 absently as he drewpictures of dead bodies being raped by hamsters.

"Weeeeeeeed," smiled 007, carving a marjuana leaf into his arm with a razer.

"O-kay. Anyway,after the fight was stopped, 004 was sent into where he is now."

"Oh dear," she responded, sounding converned.

"I say good riddance," spat 0014. "Whenever I try to sleep, his huge irritated eyes stare at me all freaking night! What makes it more creepy is that he never blinks or stops smiling!"

(AFS)

"You mean just like you?" her best friend suggested, trying to make her mess up in her point.

"Exact- hay!" the blonde yelled; 0015 smirked in an embarressed way.

(Em)

"How the hell did we get here, anyway?" pondered 0016, 0015's true love.

"Don't you remember? We decided to have an orgy and I called you over." explained the fifteenth cyborg.

"Oh yeah, I guess I was so high I couldn't remember," he said.

"_High?_ Dude, you were wasted!" exclaimed the water cyborg (otherwise known as 0014; I'm currently explaining it in my new story Your Elementals).

"Yeah. You past out in the middle of the orgy," 002 informed him.

"I... did?" he asked, staring off into space as if to imagine it. "Damn..."

_**MEANWHILE, IN ISOLATION...**_

004 lay in the middle of the room that contained nothing other than soft, white padded floors, walls, and ceiling.

"This has been _ssssssssoooooooo_ boring," he muttered to himself, "I forgot how long I was in here." Weeks passed; three to be exact. With each grueling day he became more and more and more and more and more and m-

* * *

**Emily:** (very angry and frustrated) GET ON WITH IT ALL READY!

**AFS:** Okay, okay, just don't yell in my ear please, thank you!

With each grueling day he became more and more (**AFS:** Happy now? **Emily:** Very.) psychotic. _Need... drugs... need... drugs... need... drugs... _was all he could think about. Finally, on the last day of the third week... 004 snapped. (**AFS:** Dump dump duuuummmpp!)

**8:30 THAT NIGHT **

The center of the auditorium floor was cleared, strobe lights were set up, and everyone in the rehab facility was dancing to Soulfly, Prophecy. Emily (who is still 0015) laughed at Jet as he tried to dirty dance with Kelly.

Finally deciding to show off her skills, the brunette said, "Lemme show you guys how it's done." She dragged Sergio onto the floor, put his hands on her hips while she stood in front of him, and danced. He was overwhelmed, being that it was very often they danced so intimately in public.

Three more songs passed (KORN's Got The Life, Cannibal Corpse's Butchered at Birth and Disturbed's Rise) when 004 burst into the room at the intro of Drowning Pool: Bodies. He was breathing hard and looked as if he hadn't groomed himself for three weeks because he, in fact, hadn't groomed himself for three weeks. I mean, for God's sake, his hands were sort of tied...

* * *

**AFS:** Em, you're going besides the point here, you know?

**Emily:** Oh, yeah, sorry.

* * *

... _anyway,_ back on track! 0047 sternly serveyed the team and the rehab roommates.

"So... this is how you welcome me back. Just like last time."

"Waddaya mean?" demanded 002 with a confused look on his face that was priceless.

"The time you wished me back after mission 43989: The Super Galaxy Mystery, which has recently been turned into a movie in Japan and translated into English and sold in America called **Cyborg 009: Legend of the Super Galaxy**! You guys just reacted the same way; all shocked, as if you think '_Oh God, _he's_ here?_' No welcome back parties, no welcome home! God!"

"Dude, we didn't even _know_ we wished you back!"exclaimed009.

"Don't you use that excuse with me! Now... where's the drugs?" he slobbered.

"Dammit, 004!" shouted 0015. "They were confiscated from 008 three weeks ago, remember?"

"WHAT! NO WAY!" 0015 smacked her hand over her forehead.

"Dammit, he forgot. We're doomed." she prophesied flatly. And that was exactly what happened.

* * *

**AFS:** Is it my turn? Is it my turn?

**Emily:** (sighs) Yes, Kelly, it's your turn...

**AFS:** Okay, okay. (shuffles around some papers) This is what happens next... It's alittle bad...

**Emily:** Now we really are doomed.

* * *

004, who had mysteriously became drunk by the purple punch, staggered around the room. His tracker eyes had become blurred with the colors neon pink, blue, green, and a hint of bright purple. Staggering, he looked around. He couldn't tell who was friend or who was foe. Suddenly, the fourth cyborg realized that Hilda, his late wife, was standing before him. Albert stepped forward.

"Hilda," he said with a cheesy grin on his face. "I have dumped you for Venus."

"Wha- 004, what are you talking about?" 002 questioned, feeling himself go red. All eyes were on the two.

"You know what I mean." replied the Heinrich. "Now give me a hug." 004 lunged at his friend, causing him to run. "Hilda, where are you going?" he called after the second cyborg as he clicked his acceleration drive into gear. "ITAIN'TEASY BEING CHEEZY, YOU KNOW!" But the lack of drugs causedJet to slow down. 004 made a great sweeping motion with his arms, cutting 002's nose off! He fell to the floor, bleeding and screaming for all it was worth.

I would have really liked to tell you all that this really happened. Actually, 004 missed cutting 002's nose off by mere inches, making a scratch on the tip of 002's nose just wide enough to bleed.

"Thanks, I knew you would understand." sang the fourth cyborg as 0014 put a bandage on her love's nose. Now sounding like a little child, he said, "Oh, oh! Let's go ride the purple elephants!" Albert was pointing at 005, who had no idea what was going on.

"Wha- HAY!" he yelled as the German cyborg jumped on his back yelling, "Getty up, pinky elephant! Getty up!" 005 threw 004 off his back and into the beer punch bowl.

"That explains a lot." said 003, staring at the drunken German as he came up, sputtering and shaking his head like a wet dog.

"What was that supposed to mean?" asked 009, hiding his bear.

"Oh, nothing," replied the French cyborg, taking another sip of her sherry.

"Oh good." Joe muttered. By now, the fourth cyborg had begun making an even _bigger_ fool of himself. He had now ran across the dance floor, singing the Barney theme song (the I Love You one) and began jumping up and down with a microphone in his hand.

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout," he began to sing but, with by shear luck, the drunken guard that was supposed to be monitoring the party, threw 004 and the rest of the cyborgs and Doctor Gilmore out of rehab without a car. When he hit the cool air did the Albert we all know and love appeared once more.

"You mean all this time you were _acting_!" screamed Francoise.

"Well, yeah, you really thought I would stay in that dump?" 004 asked sharply. "Anyway, even in my drunken state I hated being there."

"Yes. And what gave you the idea to go on like this?"

"A novel." An hour had passed and everyone was singing Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall songs.

"Oh, 009, I almost forgot," The German stood up straight. "I'm stealing your girlfriend." And all you could hear within a three mile radius was two echoing _bangs_.

* * *

**AFS:** Sorry 'bout the ending. It was poor.

**Emily:** You know it was.

**AFS:** YES WE'RE FREE!

**FL:** No, not quite.

**008:** (who had previously been parting with the rest of the team) What? Why?

**Emily:** Because we might add a third chapter.

**All zero-zero's:** _A third chapter!_

**AFS:** Yep! And we need your help! (Points at readers.)

**Emily: **You must review and give us your ideas about our third chapter.

**AFS:** And it doesn't have to deal with rehab, drugs, or giant pink elephants!

**Emily:** Review within the next-

**AFS:** No, Emily, don't give them a time limit.

**Emily:** Why?

**AFS:** Because some people might be on vacation. That's why. Give us ideas at any time by reviewing! See ya next time at...

**All:** Mission 24689: REHAB!


	3. RUNNING WATER FULL THROTTLE

**RUNNING WATER FULL THROTTLE  
****Kelly:** Dammit!  
**007:** What?  
**Emily:** No one but MissCourtney002-san, 13- Twisted Whispers – 13-san, and Kouzumi93-san reviewed our story!  
**002: **Holy calamity! Screamin' insanity!  
**004:** (smoking pot) Man, that sucks.  
**009:** (runs out of 003's room with shirt off) Yeah, that so sucks!  
**Black Ghost:** (as he applies pink lipstick) You guys are so queer…  
**003:** (coming out of her room with white stuff on her mouth) I didn't give him a blow job!  
**Kelly:** And you know what they said?  
**009:** (shocked) Since when were _you_ here!  
**Emily:** Since 0022 was here.  
**005:** 0022?  
**AFS:** My cousin Kenny.  
**0022:** (sensing his "need" to be there) Yo, yo, yo! Look how cool I am!  
**Everyone:** …  
**007:** How many of there are you!  
**Kelly:** Twenty-eight total (These characters will never be in any sort of story outside of this one, as an FYI). 0014, you know, is me, and I have the power to control water, underwater propulsion, flight, and acceleration.  
**Emily:** I am 0015 and I control fire.  
**Kelly:** There's this random guy, he is 0016 and can control the darkness.  
**Emily:** 0017 is my little sister, Maria. She controls electricity like 0010 and -.  
**Kelly: **Aly is 0018 and she preserves the nature of things (kind of like 005).  
**Emily:** 0019 is Kelly's older cousin, Kerry Ann, and she can control earth.  
**AFS:** 0020 is my younger cousin, Corey. Corey is the second youngest out of all the cyborgs besides 001 and 0017.  
**Emily:** A former classmate of 0014 and 0015, Kiara (0021) make a wormhole and go anywhere she wants.  
**Kelly:** Kenny is 0022, as you should know by his randomness. Kenny is the master of the wind.  
**Emily:** My bro, Josh, is 0023. His power is like an alchemist; he can deconstruct and reconstruct any material.  
**008:** Is that all of you?  
**Kelly:** No. There's Brianna. She's a deaf-mute, and she can use sound waves to her advantage.  
**Emily:** Then there's the Kalleinhan fairies, which is like our other sides.  
**Kelly:** Dalila is a water fairy, my "sister," hair bright teal, eyes periwinkle blue,and she's fourteen. 0024.  
**Emily:** Then there's my "sister," Jyoitka, who's twenty-one, fire red hair, hazel eyes, and she also controlls fire. 0025.  
**Kelly:** Then there's Donovan. Sergio's brother. Twenty-two. Pitch black hair. Bright green eyes. 0026.  
**Emily:** Then Angeni, eighteen, the spirit one. Bright blue hair and grape eyes. 0027.  
**Kelly: **Kalli, Maria's, fifteen. Orange hair and green eyes. 0028.  
**Emily:** Echo. Sixteen. Sound. Dirty blone hair and midnight blue eyes. 0029.  
**Kelly: **Desdemona, troll, twenty-five, brown hair and teal eyes. 0030.  
**Emily:** Hewitt. Psychic. Seventeen. Bright blonde hair. Hazel eyes. 0031.  
**Kelly:** Makani, twenty-one, wind, radish brown hair, purple eyes. 0032.  
**Emily:** Demitrius, twenty-three, earth mover, pink hair and orange eyes. 0033.  
**Kelly:** Then, there's our history teacher, who won't be appearing in this, Miss Hollowell. She's a time traveler. 0034.  
**Emily:** Then we skip to FL's Aunt Connie, 0041,and Uncle Adrian, 0042. They won't be appearing in here either.  
**Kelly:** 0041 is a spirit jumper...  
**Emily:** While 0042 is a spirit contacter.  
**Kelly:** Got that?  
**002:** ...  
**Kelly:** Never mind. Anyway. MissCourtney002-san said, "Uh, get more elephants and maybe some more drugs! And animals on drugs and put in Dr. Gilmore when he's high. LOL. Miss. Courtney." 13 – Twisted Whispers – 13-san said, "Oh… dear… God… somebody has to help them… O.O." Damn right! And Kouzumi93-san said, "This is… weird and cool at the same time. I don't think that I will be able to stop laughing anytime soon, so I gotta go get a drink of water before my parents kill me." This chapter is called RUNNING WATER FULL THROTTLE for no good reason.  
**Emily:** We shall show you the bloopers from our "secret" drug life.  
**Kelly:** And Black Ghost is here for no good reason.  
**Emily:** _You _are here for no good reason!  
**Kelly:** Hey!  
**Emily:** Ah, shut the fuck up, you bastard.  
**Kelly:** You _seriously_ need manger anegment!  
**Emily:** … Manger?  
**Kelly:** Uh, yeah. Anyway. Guess what I heard, Emily?  
**Emily:** What?  
**Kelly: **I heard that you _finally_ got an account!  
**Emily:** Yes, I did!  
**Kelly:** Would you mind to tell us what it is?  
**Emily:** Yes, I would! It's Cyborg Death Eater! Yes, you heard right! It's Cyborg Death Eater!  
**Kelly:** (sarcastically) Wow! I wish I had a name like that!  
**Emily:** I know you would!  
**Kelly:** Now, on with the show!  
**CDE:** And God damn you all!

* * *

_First, we'll go to 0014 and 0015's "History project of the Hindu goddess, Vishnu. We won't tell you who wrote what, because we forget ourselves. Then, we will go to 0021 and 0023 in the laundry mat. After that, we will go to the part Cyborg Death Eater wrote, then AFS__, and then, MissCourtney002._

_(**Anti-Form Sora **and **Cyborg Death Eater**)  
Vishnu is a large overweight extremely hairy Hindu goddess of macronaladamia. It is very easy to spot when looking at the person next to you. She eats things like goats, monkeys, blue bears, Michael Jackson, Emily Velez, and ugly librarians. Some of the rarest ugly librarians of its kind are a dumb blonde person I know with blue eyes and a gay-looking Pink Floyd T-shirt from the Dollar Store (which is not me). And their favorite people in the whole world are people who have myspace. She also likes to eat people who likes to eat cheese, Emily! What? Don't you like to eat cheese? No, that's definitely you. Are you sure? Cuz the smell makes my dad nauseous. Yeah. And you don't care what your dad thinks cuz you took a huge-ass piece of cheese whenever you get the chance. Oh, yeah! Now I remember! Ass-hole. Hoer! Slut! Dumbasssaywhat! Did you say something in Spanish? Ah ha! You're a dumb ass! You're a dumb ass! Shut up, you bastard! Kelly! How could you! I don't care about you, and never have! I hate you, Kelly! I love you, too! Shut up! At least I can't spell! What does that mean? I don't know. What does it mean? I asked you first! No, I did! Wait! What? Who's saying what? I don't know. I could go on more, but this project was totally… RANDOOOOOOOOMM!_

* * *

One day, 0021 and 0023 were sitting in the laundry mat waiting for their cloths to dry.  
"Hey, Kiara!" 0015's brother shouted, standing up.  
"What?" she replied in a monotone.  
"I've got an idea!" he continued at the top of his lungs, even though he was three feet away from her. Then, with a godly snap of his fingers, everything went dark, and strobe lights flashed. Then, blasting from seemingly no source, Cotton Eye Joe started playing. Kiara's eyes lit up, and her eyes watered in happiness.  
"I love you, Josh." She stood up, and then she, him, and a giraffe on its hind legs were doing the Cotton Eye Joe dance, while a bunch of others clapped to the beat and cheered to the beat of the awesomest song ever!

**0014:** Emily! What's with the giraffe?  
**0015:** Haven't you ever seen the music video to Cotton Eye Joe before?  
**0014:** No. Have you?  
**0015:** …  
**0014:** Well?  
**0015:** … No…  
**0014:** Then why did you put it in?  
**0015:** … Has this ever happened to you?  
**Ron:** Hermione! Stop stepping on my penis!  
**Hermione:** Then stop enlarging it!  
**Ron:** She doesn't mean that, Mr. Jiggles…  
**Hermione:** Who the fuck is Mr. Jiggles?  
**Ron:** My penis, who else?  
**0014:** Stop it! For the sake of the homos!  
**004 and 007:** (hugging) Like us?  
**0014:** … WHAT THE FUCK!  
**004 and 007:** Yay! (hugs some more)

* * *

(**Cyborg Death Eater**)  
Now, Jet link, the Hindu goddess of lust and sexiness uses his long nose and HUGE penis to seduce innocent mortals…OUCH! Goddamn it Kelly! I'm IDOLIZING your boyfriend, not making fun of him! You sadistic son of a…ha-ha…anyways, back others matters. He also has eight and a half children with the all powerful, ever annoying Kellyion. _EIGHT AND A HALF CHHILDREN! WE DIDN'T DO IT _THAT_ MUCH!_ Uh… That was unexpected… Now, on to our lovable 0010 !

* * *

0010 's Perfect Summer Day  
My perfect summer day is a ride behind my lover on his motorcycle through a romantic city… like Paris or something. We stop at a café and share an extra medium sparkling water while gazing into his cute blue eyes. Our faces lean in then for a passionate kiss as a tall guy with a mustache serenades us and the afternoon sun shines brightly on our faces. Half a minute later, the kiss is broken and then we ride off to a high hill where no one can see us or hear us, and the altitude is so high we can barely breathe! On the tippy-top of that hill, we make sweet love and then after two hours of rigorous butt-sex, we nest hand in hand while singing Avril Lavigne songs. The End.

* * *

004's Perfect Summer Day  
My perfect summer day is a walk across a strangers lawn in my poofiest tutu and eight inch high heels. In my hand I am holding an adorable scarf I had just bought off the sale rack of JC Penny's. Just ahead of me a handsome stranger winks at me… and I turn and blush a bright tickle-me-pink. Then, later, I giggle about it with my girlfriends while hosting a Barbie Theme Slumber party while drinking hot cocoa and eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream. That is my perfect summer day.

* * *

009's Perfect Summer's Day  
My perfect summer day is a walk in the park with my best buddy, 004! I'm wearing a super cute outfit; skin tight jeans, flip flops, and a pink belly shirt. 004, his stylish self, is wearing a sexy powder blue mini skirt, a spaghetti strap tank top, and black knee high boots. Anyway, we walk hand in hand and feed the ducks and sweet talk the guy selling hot dogs all day until the sun sets. Then, we sit on the bench and hold each other until it's time to go home. Then, I invite him for garden salad and green tea. That is my perfect summer day.

* * *

(**Anti-Form Sora**)  
0022 was sitting alone on a park bench, watching the moon rise with his super cool motorcycle.

"Aren't I so cool, dear?" he asked, rubbing his hand along the motorcycle's side. No answer. "I know. You don't have words to describe my coolness…"

Little known to him, 0015 was stalking him, loving his coolness in every way. She hated the way he loved his bright blue motorcycle, wishing that was her body his hand was on. And that smile! How she loved that smile! She had to have him. Besides his looks and money and coolness, this was the only way to become related to 0014! And then I come in and break up your insanity! EMILY! I thought you were busy working on the next "profile" thing! I was done, so I decided to come over here and check up on you! And now, I'm going to kick your ass! Uh… that's all the time we have for today! See you all later!

* * *

Have you ever wondered about what 001 dreamed about while he was sleeping? Well, here it is!

BLOOD! GUTS! VIOLENCE! HOT CHICKS! BLOOD! GUTS! VIOLENCE! HOT CHICKS!

And what about when he's awake? What does he think about then?

BRAS! THONGS! G-STRINGS! BOXERS! BRAS! THONGS! G-STRINGS! BOXERS!

* * *

006 was sitting on the couch with at least a dozen beer bottles littering the floor. 002 walked in and nearly fell on a beer bottle.

"006, what the…" he asked as he picked one up.

"Shut the f& up!" he slurred. All of the sudden, 006 jumped up, took off his shirt, and took off into the night.

* * *

On a Sunday night around ten thirty, two accelerated people's silhouettes made themselves known threw the shadows. As they walked along the park, looking for a bench, they were talking.

"So, Joe, what are you like?"

"Well, I'm quiet, shy and like racing. What about you?"

"Well, I like horseback riding and anything physical."

"You mean…?"

"Yeah, that too."

"I love you, 0020."

"I love you, too."

The dream broke, and 009 sat up in bed.

Muttering to himself, he said, "I really need to get laid by her." Then, he lied back down and fell asleep, only to dream about his love for 0020…

* * *

007'S PERFECT SUMMER'S DAY  
On my perfect summer's day, I am laying on the beach in a bright pink bathing suit, and 004 is rubbing my chest down with suntan oil in a baby blue swim suit. When it squeaked, both of us giggled. Then, after that, we skipped in the waves and sung songs. Then, we ate ice cream.  
After we go back to our sexy shore house, I get in the tub and 004 rubbed my bald head down until it squeaked with pleasure. I complement him on his rub down, and I suggested to give him a rub down, my treat. He agreed to it and we went to the salon. We got our finger and toe nails done (mine were canary yellow and Al's were dark blue with black) and I treated 004 to get his hair washed and cut.

After that, we went to the mall hand in hand and bought the cutest outfits. A few hot boys checked us out and we winked at them.

Then we went to the movies and gorged ourselves on two small Sprites and a small popcorn bag.

That is my perfect day with Albert Heinrich.

* * *

One summer, the zero-zero team decided to go to Hawaii. On the first day there, they went to the beach.

003, who had just bought a new bikini, walked towards the males.

Now, let me tell you something very important that caught everybody's eye: she was paper thin! Her rib cage stuck out like a sour thumb, her hips had no skin on them, and you could see her internal organs just barley surviving! When she bent over, her spine would basically jump out at you! Her nose was nothing but bone; the "skin" on her cheek bone was actually her cheek bone cheek bone, and her feet! Don't get me started on that! They were so long and boney she could play ten notes at once on a piano if she started to eat more that 1/10th of an ounce! And when she went bra shopping, they would walk her right out, telling her to wear baggy cloths and never return.

Now, all this time, 002 and 009 were staring at her. Then, out of nowhere, they both pointed at her and yelled, "Look at that chub! Look at that chub! Look at all that chub! Ew!"

* * *

It was a sunny day and the Elementals and the zero-zero team (minus 008) were outside enjoying the day.

Then, out of nowhere, 008 appeared and said, "Aly applies anus application." Everyone turned and stared at him, and then to Aly.

"Brianna buys book bags at Bobby's backyard. Connie Kangaroo caught Katie Cacti. Derek's desk went dark during dinner. Eager Ellis eagerly exaggerated the analogy! FRED FILED THE FRILLY FINANIAL FEDERAL AGENTS!"

* * *

005's Perfect Summer Day  
On my perfect day, I am in a frilly orange halter top with a long, black skirt and yellow platforms, and running around, tapping everyone on the head with a wand, yelling, "You are enlightened!" and "Cowinkidink!"

0010 –'s Perfect Summer Day  
My perfect summer day is getting up in the morning, knowing that I'm going to make people happy. The reason? I'm paying 9,500.65 for a sex change.

Once that is done, I go to a gay bar and find a cute-ass guy there.

After that, we go to a stripper bar and I become one of the sexy male strippers on stage.

When my shift is done, me and my sexy guy went back to his apartment to have the ride of our lives.

That is my perfect summer's day.

* * *

009 walked into the doorway of his room and tried to click on the light switch, but it didn't turn on the light. All it did was turn on music. _I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you_… it whispered. Just then, as he walked closer into the room, he saw the old Jet lying on his bed, made into a human sundae, surrounded by many candles.

"Joey, you like banana splits?" the orange haired boy asked sluttily.

"Um… no…" Joe replied, looking around nervously.

"WHAT!" 002's eyes turned red… then…

003 popped out.

"MIKO MIKO NURSE MOTHER FUCKER! NUMA NUMA YAY!" She jumped out the window and died.

"Um… okay…" said Joe.

"Wanna fuck?" asked Jet, breaking the uneasy silence.

"Duh,"

_So, in the end, they fucked all night long under the strobe light to dirty songs by Bon Jovi and a cd called The Best of the Backstreet Boys._

* * *

BLACK GHOST'S PERFECT SUMMER'S DAY  
My perfect summer day is luring 009 into my sexy bayside house and hypnotizing him, I make him strip for me.

Once he was out of his cloths and I of mine, we begin to give each other blow jobs.

That is my perfect summer day with Joseph Shimamura.

* * *

The next part is **Cyborg Death Eater**'s that I decided to add for no good reason and steal it from her.

* * *

#1  
**Hewitt:** It's me again! It's me again!  
**Makani:** Hey! That's my line, fuckbag!  
**Hewitt:** Mellow out, Makani. Violence is bad for your lack of potassium and sodium overdose.  
#2  
**Donovan:** I broke my sticks.  
**Demitrius:** No! I did!  
**Donovan:** No! I broke my own!  
**Demitrius:** Last night meant nothing to you?  
**Donovan:** What the hell are you talking about?  
**Demitrius:** Last night, me and you, basement? Hello?  
**Donovan:** I wasn't in the basement! Hewitt was!  
**Demitrius:** So you weren't messing around with me in the… (looks at Hewitt in horror)  
**Hewitt:** I thought you were…  
**Jyoitka:** (walks into scene) Nope, I was with Desdemona. (walks out of scene)  
**Hewitt:** (slaps hand to forehead) Jesus Christ…  
**Demitrius:** (cries like a little girl)  
**Donovan:** (points revolver to head and pulls trigger)  
#3  
**Demitrius:** Right… back to rehab.  
#4  
**Doctor Gamo:** (yelling out the window at 003, who is walking along, minding her own business) Girlié! You got a fat ass!  
#5  
**004:** Dimmit, Dalila! I told you to dry-clean my tights! Now they're going to outline my fat, lardy ass!  
#6  
**002:** (facing 004) Let's get this straight tonight.  
**004:** Let's do this shit.  
**002/004:** (start playing a clap game) Ms. Merry Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back…  
#7  
**Desdemona:** Grapes are fun.  
#8  
**Hewitt:** You're such a goddam yutz, Echo. Don't make me pull out my weapon…  
**Echo:** What? Your music?  
**Hewitt:** (smiles evilly) No… (laughs evilly) Come on, Echo, put your cloths on!  
**Echo:** NO!  
**Hewitt:** What? Why? Do you think I'm a bad friend for making you put on clothes? What am I, an evil, horrible person?  
**Echo:** Hew, I…  
**Hewitt:** You want me to take the cloths so you won't have any to wear? Am I going to have to take the clothes? Fine, fine, I'll take them. I'll just leave you to be…  
**Echo:** (covering ears and screaming bloody murder) AAAAAAH! NOT THE JEWISH GUILT TRIP!  
**Hewitt:** So, what, you're saying I'm using _reverse psychology _on you? You think that low of me? I… I'm appalled… I'm so appalled…  
**Echo:** (runs away) NO! TAKE IT AWAY!  
#8  
**Angeni:** I have two ice cream cones and I don't know what to do with them!  
**Donovan:** Eat them, you stupid bitch!  
**Angeni:** Oh, yeah!  
#9  
**Makani:** I prefer pole dancing.  
#10  
**Michael Jackson:** (walks up to Doctor Gilmore) Hey, buddy, can you reach in my pocket and take out my wallet?  
**Doctor Gilmore:** Okay… (does so) Um, there's nothing in here.  
**MJ:** Try the other pocket.  
**DG:** Not in here, either.  
**MJ:** Try the back pocket.  
**DG:** Still nothing.  
**MJ:** Dig deeper, fell around, I know it's in there.  
**DG:** I'm sorry, mister, I can't find your…  
**MJ:** (snaps DG neck and drags him behind a bush)  
#11  
(004 and 007 are standing a mile apart)  
**GB:** HEY, ALBERT!  
**Albert:** WHAT DO YOU WANT?  
**GB:** DID YOU TELL ANYONE?  
**Albert:** ABOUT WHAT?  
**GB:** OUR SECRET!  
**Albert: **WHICH ONE?  
**GB:** ABOUT THIS FRIDAY!  
**Albert:** HELL YEAH! WE'RE GONNA MAKE MAGIC!  
**GB: **WE'RE GONNA GET DOWN!  
**Albert:** WE'RE GONNA GET SWEATY!  
**GB:** AND DIRTY!  
**Albert:** IT'S GONNA BE CRAZY!  
**GB:** AND JOE'S GONNA BE CRAMMED IN THE MIDDLE LIKE ASHLEY SIMPSON AT A CAT ORGY!  
**Albert:** WHOOOO!  
**Joe:** (through a megaphone) YOU GUYS ARE SICK!  
**Albert and GB:** (sulks and walk toward each other)  
**GB:** (puts arm around Albert) I guess we'll have to have a surprise party for someone else.  
**Albert:** (turns to performing puppies) Sorry, guys.  
**Puppies:** (form a pyramid)  
**Albert and GB:** Awww…

* * *

0017'S HAG EXPLANATION  
It was a fine, happy, crack filled day that went down in history as the day 002 became "HagWoman." It was when 0022 asked, "What's a hag?"

"Oh! I know!" 0017 jumped up and ran behind 002. "Imagion this!"

"TURN IT OFF! TURN THE DISNEY CHANELL OFF, FUCK, MAN!" cried 005 randomly.

"O-kay..." said 0014. "That... was... random..."

"Isn't life?" said 0015.

"Totally." said 0023.

"Life isn't random if you have me." said 0022.

"Nobody cares about you, so shut up." said MissCourtney002, who I will call 0035.

Okay. Back on to what we were talking about." guided 0017.

"Anime?" asked 0014.

"Sex?" asked 0015.

"Nude women?" asked 0023.

"Me?" asked 0022.

"Cyborg 009 on drugs?" asked 0035.

"No!" cried 0017. "Me!"

"Damn, you're no fun anymore." said 002, getting up.

Then, out of no where, some bird watcher dude from Monty Pythong's Flying Circus comes alonge and said, "Who said that? Who took my thing?"

"What... what's your thing?" asked 008, still fealing Jamacain.

"'You're no fun anymore!' Who said it!"

"HE DID IT!" everybody yelled, pointing at 002, who pointed at everybody else in turn.

"Damn, you guys are no fun anymore..." So the bird watcher dude from Monty Python's Flying Circus pulls out a gun and kills them all.

* * *

(MissCourtney002)  
You know what? Remember that last stint in rehab the cyborgs did? It, uh, it didn't exactly work out as planned. It worked for about 2 weeks before they all got so bored, they went and got drunk. This is their story (DUN DUN (that law and order sound))

"I am sooooo god damn bored!" screamed 002.

"Yep. Uh huh." Agreed the other cyborgs.

"Darn tooting" said Dr. Gilmore

"OMGWTFBBQ!" exclaimed 0015, "Why the fuck did you say that? I cant believe you said that!"

"You know that I'm going through a cowboy phase, I mean look at me!"

So they looked. And looked. And looked some more.

Dr. Gilmore was wearing a cowboy hat, shirt, chaps and cowboy boots. All he needed was a horse and hed look like a bonafide cowboy.

"That's it. We need booze." Said 007.

So 004, 007, 0016, 0017 and 0018 went and got a lot of alcohol. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. Within a matter of an hour after they got home, most of the house was blind drunk. Except for 009 and 003, but they were just being goody two shoe twits with no life...

"You know what?" asked 008 of 003 and 009. "You two bitches are wayyyy to fucking uptight! Why not let loose? A little drinkie won't get you hooked again you fucksticks!" He said all this while waggling a bottle of Jim Beam under their noses.

"No, I'm so sure I can deal without it." replied 003. "But do you know what would make this better?"

The cyborgs all looked up, drunkenly at 003 (except for 002 and 0014, they were a bit busy on the couch…)

"Well?"

"Uh…" said 0020

"Hmmm…" said 0016

"Lemme see" thought 004

"YOU GUYS ARE THE MOST…" said 003, but she was drowned out by 005 screaming, all the while, slopping vodka all over himself.

"DRUGS! LOTS AND LOTS OF DRUGS!"

"Yeah!" said 002. He and 0014 were looking up at 003 now.

"Mhm! Go get some! Do it! Darn tooting!"

"Why the fuck do you keep saying that?" asked 0015.

"Look at my clothes!"

"Dude…" said 0020.

"Uh… your not wearing any…" pointed out 0019.

Turns out he was doing a striptease for 006.

"Close but no dice!" said 003. "I was gonna say a male stripper and some morphine, but this sounds way better! Come on 009, lets go hunt some drugs down!"

40 minutes later.

"Were back!" said 009.

"We got drugs!" screamed 003.

"What kind?" asked 0017.

"Yeah! Fucking show me the money!" said 006.

"Ah…"

"What? OH! I meant show me the drugs!"

"Oh! Ok, cool."

So 009 and 003 poured out the drugs. They'd gotten hold some pot, coke, heroin and some vials of morphine.

"Nice stash, but wheres the rest?" asked 0014.

"Fine."

Out came the 'ice (crystal meth), ecstasy and the hash.

"Pretty good, but heres some more," said 004. He poured a lot of coke and pot onto the table.

"You prick! You've been holding out on us!" screamed 007.

"Yep, just to piss you off."

"That's it asshole! You knew I needed it! Look at my arm!" 007 said whilst pulling his sleeve up. The leaf he carved into his arm during the last stint of rehab was still there.

So, a fight broke out.

"Uh, 003?" said 0014.

"Yes?" said 003, while she was trying to ignore the scuffle, in which 005, 006, 008, 009 and 002 had joined in. "What do you want?"

"What happened to the stripper you promised?"

"Err…"

At this moment in time, 003s brother, Jean Paul, turned up in a mini.

"Someone need a stripper?" he asked.

"Yay! 003 you came through with all you promised!" said 0014, giving her a hug.

003 stared in disbelief at her brother.

"That's it, I need alcohol."

So she went and stole the vodka off 0017 and 0018.

"Hey! We was drinking that bitch!"

"Too bad, I need booze!"

"So she finally decides to join the party," muttered 0017.

"WTF was that, asshole?"

"You heard me. I know you did."

"Yeah, well… bleh!" said 003, poking out her tongue.

So they all got drunk and when finally all the alcohol was gone, they started on the drugs.

"Dude…" said 008.

"What man?" asked 0021.

"I… I... I..."

"Yes?"

"Come closer,"

0021 moved closer.

"Closer,"

Still even closer.

"I gots a secret."

"What?"

"This!"

008 smashed his head into 0021's.

"Ooof!"

"I NEED MY BONG!" screamed 008.

So as you guessed, they got as high as a kite, they might just have stopped to check you out if you had have gone past then. HAH!Anyways, they proceeded to get really high, and so drunk that they woke up with massive hangovers in the morning.

005 was with Jean Paul, who had given an awesome strip show for them all, 002 and 0014 were holed up on the couch again, and 003 and 009… well… we don't actually know what happened to them. Meanwhile.

"Whoa…" said 002. "That was a fun night."

"Mhm" said 0014.

"Hehe, there's something about you... I dunno what the hell it is, but your pretty shmexy."

"WTF was that?" asked 002 looking around. "Oh god, not that again."

"What?" asked 0014.

"Look."

So 0014 looked, and she was 004 and 007 proposing to one another.

"That's it! No more drugs for us!" said 0015.

"But I like feeling Jamaican," said 008.

"And there's still heaps of drugs left!" exclaimed 0019.

"Meh. That's a good point" said 0015.

"Don't want them to go to waste now do we?"

"Nooooo…"

"Then shut the fuck up and lets get high!"

This behaviour continued till the next morning when 009 and 003 mysteriously reappeared out of nowhere.

"Hey guys, guess what?" asked 009.

"Uh… lemme see" said 0018. "You two got married, went to Hawaii for the day and now 003 is pregnant?"

"Close but no dice!"

"Son of a bitch! What then? WHAT?" screeched 004, getting off 007.

"We got married and went to Paris for the day, and nooo I don't think that 003 is pregnant…yet."

"Ok this is getting weird," said 0016.

They all looked at one another for a couple of minutes, until...

"Rehab?"

"Who the fuck said that?" asked 0021.

"Me" said 0017.

"Yeah, ok," said the rest of the cyborgs.

So of they tripped to rehab… again.

Portions of this part didn't affect the outcome of this story so they were edited out.

"Hey guys. Back again, huh?" said the reception lady.

"No we just came here for a visit. Of course were back!" said 002.

"Uh huh. So what degree of rehab do you want?"

"How bout the hardest?" asked 0016.

"Well that includes watching really bad movies. Not may people take that choice."

"Who gives a damn! I want outta here quick!" said 0020.

"Hell YEAH!" said the others.

So they went and did the bad movies. not the best choice they made.

"OMGWTFBBQ!" screamed 003.

"Turn this movie off I cant handle it anymore!" screeched 0014.

"Come on guys! Its either this or solitary confinement. And you remember what happened to 004 when he did solitary confinement?" said 009.

"Oh, shut the fuck up goody two shoes! They both sound like a bust to me!" exclaimed 0014.

"So you can all sit here, but im gonna go to this solitary confinement bit!"

"Soooo… whats eating her?" asked 005.

The other cyborgs shrugged.

So long story short, the cyborgs went to rehab, finished it and have managed to stay clean for a couple of day. What happened next? No one knows and no one gives a damn… yet.

**AFS:** We know what you're thinking. Do you want to know what we think you're thinking about what we're saying that we know that you're thinking about, linking about what something specific like what we're thinking about what we think you're thinking—  
**CDE:** KELLY! SHUT UP!  
**MC002: **That hurt my head, Emily…  
**CDE: **(puts arm around MC002) Look what you did to Courtney!  
**AFS: **HEY!  
**MC002 & CDE: **What?  
**AFS: **We were using our names!  
**CDE:** So?  
**MC002: **She's right. If the speed and velocity of a northern sparrow is going 85 mph heading south, and a southern sparrow going north at 98 mph, than—  
**AFS: **(starting up again)  
**CDE: **I don't know you, dogs…  
**AFS & MC002:** (rambling on till the end of time)

* * *

* * *


	4. Quick Update From AFS and CDE

Hi guys! Um, I uploaded a really random video a while ago (like almost 2 years ago while) and it's a stupid thing called Drunk Vexen. Basically, Cyborg Death Eater (aka Emily) got drunk and I recorded her. You should go see it if you want to hear what we sound like. The url is here >> .com/watch?v=7WdraYkLiR4 And we're debating on weather or not to restart our random adventures of Mission 24689: Rehab, but instead of Cyborg 009, it's going to be Harry Potter and the Zombie Apocalypse or something. If you think that's a good idea, we'd go ahead and do it. Just give us time, we just made this idea like a week or two ago or something. But yeah, anyway, that's all I have time to do right now. I'm in the middle of a LOAD of laundry. So yeah, BYE! :D 


End file.
